I'm Jess. I am a nurse... I work night shift. I have a dog and two crazy roommates. I am a vegan... not one of the preachy ones though. I love ellipses. Currently residing in the PNW.
All my stories are purposefully vague and generalized to protect the guilty... and to abide by HIPPA.
I make none of the .gifs I use and gather them from various sources. I have no idea who makes them, if I did, I would undoubtably give them props. Thank you all the .gif makers out there... without you, my humor could not be adequately expressed. You're the best.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
I found the extra ear pieces that came with my stethescope. Unfortunately while trying to put them on in the car on the way to work (it was unnecessarily difficult, stupid cheap scope) I sliced my finger open. Whoops. I made a makeshift bandage out of a 2x2 I had in my work bag and the finger of a glove. I upgraded my patch-up job when I got to work. Tegaderms are my jam.
Tonight I worked on the new observation unit. The night was pretty uneventful. On this unit we draw our own labs. Why? No idea, just because we’re special. Anyway, I have three patients. I drew everyones’ blood from the same spot… left hand, vein in the middle. It was a coincidence the first two times… then I did it on purpose the last time because I’m weird and my OCD kicked in.
Update from last night… I started a third IV. I had to stand on my head and let the patient have a little bit of a feelsy to do it though.
A totally necessary and professional feelsy, I assure you.
C’mon… I’m a nurse. Nothing I haven’t seen before.
I promise, I won’t be like…
And definitely not…
It’ll probably be more like…
I’m sure it’s very nice, but it’s just not that big a deal for me. I have seen and touched probably hundreds of the things… boy, that makes me sound a bit tarty.
I lost one of the ear pieces to my shitty, replacement stethescope. So sad.
I can’t… lower body was yesterday. I’ll do them tomorrow, promise. I do at least 100 body weight squats on leg day.
(Source: asmith9502)
When your patient threatens to “get you fired” because you refuse to give them their narcotics early…
I’m like…
That’s not how these things work. But good luck trying.
I think all my work at the gym is paying off, tonight I practically threw a 130+kg old man back into bed like…
Stay in bed buddy.
Probably didn’t use the best body mechanics, but I didn’t hurt myself. Woohoo!
Also, I’m 2/2 with IV starts tonight. Just straight ballin’.
Is it just me or is the Salonpas guy super attractive?
I dig the bearded chaps.
When see that the on-call doctor is the rudest one in the group, my charge nurse is the most lazy and unhelpful ever, I’m stuck with a useless nurse as my “shift buddy”, and the CNA assigned to my section is the one that always disappears…
I’m like…
Good thing I learned to do everything myself and to not rely on others a long time ago. Thankfully all these things rarely coincide in one shift. Three shifts in a row like that would probably make me want to quit on the spot.
